Every now and then, after drinking a few too many beer in celebration of an event such as Great Friday, my birthday, or Jeff's Bachelor party, I can't help but thinking about what an idiot I am. Usually, those feelings go away within a couple hours of sobering up, but every now and then I get a reminder of the stupid things I've done while I was drinking.

This story begins about two weeks ago, on May 12, when Balsom's Blog broke a story about Jack Bauer's wardrobe. Jokingly, I wrote

For all of those who think Jack's a sissy for carrying around a man-purse all season... get to the back of the room. Jack will be coming to deal with you shortly.

Jack Bauer's Heavyweight Classic Messenger and Travel Bag is the ideal solution for aiding in the day-to-day anti-terrorist activities, whether it be blowing up Russian terrorists with your cell phone, stabbing CTU infiltrators in the neck with scissors, or hijacking a plane and landing it on a freeway. This bag has it all!

Now let us fast forward to present day, May 22, 2006. I go home after a long day at work, tired and strung out from a long weekend in Brockville, and I check the mail. Inside is a package from the U.S. addressed to me. Curious about it, I run inside and cut open the packaging, where I find nothing less but Jack Bauer's Heavyweight Classic Messenger and Travel Bag.

My first reaction was a little laugh. "Ha." I thought. "Someone bought me this handy dandy Jack Bauer man-purse. Awesome!" But then I started to think about it some more. No, my birthday was just two weeks ago, why would anyone get me anything now. I started to panic a little bit. "Did someone read my blog and decide to send me Jack Bauer's Heavyweight Classic Messenger and Travel Bag? Do I have a stalker? Did my William Robert III cover not work as well as I had hoped?"

So I started to do some investigating. And after a few minutes, it started coming back to me.

Last weekend, at Brokeback's bachelor party, Stevie P. left the bar early without telling anyone. Since a bunch of us were planning on crashing at his place, we were a bit concerned when we couldn't get in. Repeated calls from the cell phone and the intercom went unanswered, and six of us were stuck outside of his apartment at three in the morning. After calling everyone we knew, Becky and Jason finally said they'd come pick us up and give us a place to crash (very nice of them, considering it was late, and we were pretty drunk).

When I finally got home, I apparently thought it was a good idea to go check out eBay...

Needless to say, I am now the proud owner of Jack Bauer's Heavyweight Classic Messenger and Travel Bag.